Shedding The Superman Syndrome For Success

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." --John Lennon

I just got back from a business trip to the East Coast. While I was away several hundred email messages accumulated, in addition to a tall stack of postal mail and a full voice mail box. Had I been here to respond to all of it as it came in, I would have spent much more time doing so. When faced with the massive volume, I became much more efficient. I asked myself, "What's most important?" And my clarity and focus were much sharper as a result. When I returned from my trip, what I really wanted was to spend time with my family... not with my email, inbox, or telephone. With great clarity and intent, I deleted much of my email without even reading it.

While on my trip I came across a book titled, "The Superman Syndrome: Why the Information Age Threatens Your Future and What You Can Do About It," by Robert Kamm. In his book, Kamm notes that Americans are working an average of six weeks to three months more per year than they did just a decade ago. Additionally, more than 70% of people in offices work weekends and more than 70% of American parents feel they don't spend enough time with their kids. Kamm says that the Superman Syndrome is characterized by an inability or unwillingness to throw the off-switch... whether on a cell phone, the computer, or in our own brains. We are the most distracted generation in the history of the human race. And distracted people make for distracted and unavailable parents -- perhaps one of the biggest threats our growing generation faces in the 21st Century.

Clients often come to me feeling overwhelmed. They want more control and balance in their lives. I explain that the control comes from within. Shedding the Superman cape is the first step! I tell my clients that they must be willing to bypass the external distractions and demands on their time, look inside to their own values and priorities, and then make choices so their focus and activities match these values and priorities. For example, if you truly value your health and your family, but you are working too many hours to take care of yourself or to be home while your family is still awake, then you've lost control of your life.

Kamm notes that the commitment to slow down and focus on things that really matter in life must be made at the corporate as well as the individual level. He states that "the Superman Syndrome is a dangerous workplace success formula that forces men and women to leap tall buildings and outrun speeding bullets -- at the expense of personal lives, families, children and even business productivity. This represents a major hypocrisy implicit in nearly every boardroom in America: The belief that we should be accountable to work but not to our families."

This begs the question, "What does it matter if you win the rat race?" You're still a rat!

Change -- even good change -- is stressful for most people. And today, the speed of change is doubling exponentially every 18 months. The deafening roar of change is the reason that 70% of illness is due to stress, and the top six leading causes of death for American adults are stress- related. It is not change itself -- but our inability to adapt to change -- that creates the rub for most of us. We are creatures of habit, and old patterns are hard to change, even when they no longer serve us well. Health care professionals note that we are so addicted to our fast-paced lives that it often takes a life-threatening crisis such as a heart attack or cancer to slow us down. Making the changes necessary to leave the fast lane behind is not quick, and for most, it is not easy. That's why practices such as yoga, meditation, and working with a life coach have become so popular.

Time to Graduate: Get a Life!

As we approach the time of year to celebrate graduations, I find it particularly fitting to share excerpts from a commencement address made by Anna Quindlen. As she began her speech to the graduating class of Villanova University in Pennsylvania, this novelist told the audience, "My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first."

Quindlen went on to share some important life lessons that all of us can benefit from:

"You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul.

Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy . And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived."

Just Do It!

"Time is the most important currency, but once you spend it, it's gone." -Rod Steiger

If you struggle to "get a life," here are some concrete action steps you can take, beginning TODAY!

==> Action Idea #1: Identify what you love to do.

· If you had more time, what would you do? (Or, if you had a terminal illness, what would you want to do with the time you had left?) Write down your response.

· What is holding you back from doing this now? Do you choose to wait for a terminal illness to come along before you make time for what you love most?

· Get your calendar out and schedule time to do some of the things you wrote down.

==> Action Idea #2: Identify your values.

· Jot down the names of 10-20 people whom you admire. They do not need to be living, and you may have never met them or known them personally.

· After you've completed your list, write down the qualities that you admire in each person you listed. For example, if I listed Mother Teresa, I might describe these qualities: compassionate, generous, unconditional love, lived with meaningful purpose. The qualities that you admire in others are YOUR values.

· How do you honor your values regularly? What is getting in the way of you honoring your values?

==> Action Idea #3: Identify your priorities and passions.

· Pretend that you are attending your 100th birthday party and your closest friends and relatives have gathered to honor you. What would you want them to say about you? What would represent a life well lived with no regrets?

· What matters most to you? What are you most passionate about? Write it down.

· What one thing could you do, that if you did regularly, would make the biggest difference in your personal life? For your professional life?

· Get out your calendar and begin planning to do these things regularly.

We get what we settle for. It's never too late -- or too early -- to settle for more. When you are ready to settle for more -- professionally or personally -- contact me.

Kathy Paauw, President of Paauwerfully Organized, specializes in helping busy executives, professionals, and entrepreneurs declutter their schedules, spaces and minds. She is a certified business/personal coach and professional organizer. Contact her at mailto:orgcoach@gte.net or visit her website at http://www.orgcoach.net and learn how you can Find ANYTHING in 5 Seconds -- Guaranteed!

Set 100 Goals Now For Success

Was this speaker stark raving mad? One hundred goals? He thought I could come up with 100 goals for my life?

The speaker, Mark Victor Hansen, compiled the hugely successful Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books with Co-Author Jack Canfield. He challenged the assembled throng at the Women's Business Conference to brainstorm 100 life goals.

Further, he encouraged us to work with a partner with whom we would swap lists. Together we would encourage each other to develop our list. We would hold each other accountable. We would help each other eventually reach these 100 life goals.

Seeing that he was where he was, and I was where I was, I decided to take his advice! How many best sellers does Mark Victor Hansen have anyway? Exactly my point! He was a best selling writer, highly paid motivational speaker, darn good dresser too! And me? I was an employee of local government who read a lot of inspiring books. The kids in my Sunday School class were motivated by my speaking. That was certainly worth something. My wardrobe? Usually bought on sale, or at the end of the season on clearance.

If Mark Victor Hansen got where he was by writing 100 goals? Then I figured it would not hurt to try! My co-worker and I buddied up to walk together through the process.

The next day I sat at my keyboard. At first I thought I would have difficulty in thinking up goals. Soon, though, I was on a roll. My goals were as diverse as "Have lunch with a friend one time weekly" to "Host a radio talk show" to "travel to Europe".

I approached my co-worker to share my list with her. I also wanted to do my part as her buddy. I knew I needed to encourage her to write her own 100 goals. She read through my list, saying "Great! Oh, and you wrote 'Learn French twice!' ". With that, she went back to the tasks on her desk.

"Ummmmm.....how is your list coming, buddy?" I tried to sound as positive as I could on this one. Never sound accusatory towards your buddy, I thought

She looked out her window and replied, "My 100 goals are to get up tomorrow and the next 100 days!" She laughed at her humor. Me? I didn't understand.

Then again, her dream in 5 years is to still be working in local government. Perfectly respectable. Nothing at all wrong with that goal.

It is just not something that I could be particularly passionate about. Not something that I would be especially inspired by.

So where does that leave you, today?

Can you think of your 100 goals? Where would you like to be in 5 years? If you had a magic wand and your life could look like anything, what would I see when looking at you? What would it feel like to live that ideal life? What would others think of your life? Would you inspire people? Annoy people? Learn from people?

In other words, what do you really want to do with your life?

Start slow if you think you can not possibly think of 100 goals. Take out a piece of paper or open a new document on your word processor. Go for ten goals at first. No set order of preference, just let your mind go. Let the ideas and thoughts flow.

You may find you need to write more than ten goals as your ideas start moving less like a trickle and more like a deluge. If you run into a roadblock? Stop working. Walk away. Save the goals you have written. .Promise yourself that you will come back later.

And then do exactly that! Come back later. Challenge yourself to finish your list of 100 goals.

Finally, find someone with whom to share your goals. A buddy to encourage you as you grow. Do you have anyone who would encourage this kind of challenge? If not, ask around or look for a group on line that discusses goal setting.

When I first wrote this article, I was still working as a government employee. I have gratefully been an entrepreneur, coach and writer full time since November, 1999. As for me, I am on my way to reaching more and more of my 100 goals. I spend my hours caring for my precious babies (one goal was to have another baby, who is now 4! This May I was blessed with another baby, my first son). Just this past week I bought four new website domains to add to my main website, www.5passions.com. It is all about Living a Passion Filled Life. My second book is about to hit the market.

"I have not yet made reservations for a European Trip, nor have I hosted aTalk Radio program, but listen to your local station. You just never can be sure." Were the words I wrote back in 1998. In fact, that needs to be updated. In January I begin hosting my own radio show, so now I will have to say, listen for when my show hits syndication!

100 Goals? YES! 100 goals!

100 Goals. A method for uncovering what you really want. 100 Goals. A way to find out what is stored in your heart. 100 Goals. The beginning of your future. 100 Goals!

Julie Jordan Scott is a Personal Success Coach who left her career as a government bureaucrat and built a successful business in less than six months. Visit http://www.5passions.com for free resources for YOUR success Email her at mailto:julie@5passions.com or call 661.325.4116

The Keys Steps To Success

What is success? I am not going to try to define success. I think a precise definition is impossible. Is it winning a Gold Medal at the Olympic Games or winning Wimbledon, or being awarded a Nobel prize? What else? I believe personal success could be anything at all - it does not have to involve public recognition. Who is more success- ful? A millionaire who is unhappy, or an unnoticed person, who has led a simple, sincere and happy life? The simplest definition of success, I think, is 'to set out to do something and to succeed in doing it'. It really doesn't matter what, or how humble the undertaking.

The first step on the road to success starts with BELIEF. BELIEVE you can succeed and you will. Achieving success in whatever endeavor you choose may be the goal of life, because it gives you freedom from worry. Could that be?

Success means different things to every one of us. Some people believe it is measured in financial terms, i.e. having wealth; others believe it is helping others rather than helping themselves. A bit of both perhaps?! Or it could be simply achieving for achievement's sake? Success is such a personal thing. To many people, it is the very root of their being -- the reason for existing is to achieve something worthwhile in our lives. To the vast majority of the popula- tion it doesn't matter much whether they want to be suc- cessful or not; that's OK by me, as long as that is what you really want and you are happy with life.

However, most people want and are motivated to a great extent by public recognition and a relentless pursuit of achievement. How many people too are really happy? How many people are really doing what they want to with their lives? (Incidentally, the ability to imagine, makes us different from animals).

No matter what motivates you personally...whatever you choose to do with your life, don't expect instant success. The years of struggle, commitment and learning in excelling at whatever endea- vor or trade you choose, is no easy task. I would whole- heartedly agree with that statement after many many years of struggle as an aspiring author. It takes a lot of courage, character and discipline to achieve success in any field. Nearly all successful people have doubted themselves at some point and wanted to give up. Me included! Yet they carried on. So many people give up within an inch or two away from the gold in the seam down the mine - -a "whisker" away from success.

One thing is for sure: ADVESITY BREEDS CHARACTER and success breeds SUCCESS, as it gathers a momentum of its own and you get on a "winning streak", when everything seems to fit into place.No matter the field of endeavour, it's a matter of great PERSISTENCE that moves you towards ultimate success. So, "Keep on keeping on".

I like all of the following quotations. They all stand for what success means to me personally. So I'll share them with you...

"Success is the continuous journey towards the achieve- ment of predetermined worthwhile goals." - Tom Hopkins, American motivator

"To live your life in your own way To reach the goals you've set for yourself To be the person you want to be - That is success." - author anon.

"There is one only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way" - Christopher Morley

Most of all, I believe success is a matter of PERSONAL GROWTH. If every day you are developing or growing just a millimeter (or acquiring a "teeny weeny" bit of knowl- edge for improving yourself that you didn't have before), I believe one is successful. So dwarfs can be very success- ful people too. Sorry about that "un PC" comment, dwarfs!

Just being a slightly better person each day for me is suc- cess. I've got a very long way to go then!

Finally , always remember... success is a PROCESS and is not simply a matter of arriving at a destination. Suc- cess is what you BECOME in the often very difficult and hazardous journey down the river (or in my case, nego- tiating the "raging rapids"*) of life.

*Note alliteration

"I am not just a human being... I am a human just becoming ." - My great friend and "wise" intellectual philosopher, Dr Andy Eastcott (thanks for fixing my teeth and for the most interesting , "mate")

The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.

-- Aristotle

The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.

-- Charles Du Bos

Craig Lock has written extensively on the subject of suc- cess, sport psychology and personal growth. Craig's books are avail- able at: http://www.novelty-gift.com/

Go After Your Dreams

Why are we afraid to chase our dreams... Why does one person find it difficult to set out and achieve that which they desire, while others can some how set out, without so much a care in the world. What makes some people achievers, while others remain simply dreamers.

Is it the difference in their internal makeup? Is it in the way they were raised? The environment they grew up in? When one studies the lives of "achievers" one thing becomes evident. What is it that tends to shine through in case after case?

In my opinion the most evident factor is that there simply isn't a set pattern. These "super achievers", if you will, come from all walks of life. These folks emerge from all social classes. Varying degrees of socio-economic backgrounds. Some from affluent families, while others emerge from economically depressed areas, and all corners of the earth.

Some of these people are college educated, others are schooled through lessons that life has taught them; the school of hard knocks. Many from a combination of both. However; all understand that knowledge in any form, is a constant thing to be acquired. Skills are constantly upgraded.

While each person has come face to face with giving up, they opted to befriended perseverance, and used it to their advantage. Somehow they've found a way to overcome the point at which one wants to give up, trudged ahead and reached a point of achievement.

Yet at this point most often they tend to move onto other areas of achievement. Not accepting the status quo. Choosing to move forward towards new goals, and things that stand in their path. Though they may come from vastly differing backgrounds, each has found within themselves their ability to turn dreams into reality.

When you read this it is my hope that you take from this the knowledge that you, are just as they are. You are in fact an achiever. Just like these people you will have adversity. You may have more then your fair share of shortcomings. You may experience what seems to be at the time an inordinate amount of failure in your life.

Even so, you are still an achiever. You have more greatness in you then you can ever know. I hope that you will choose to use the power of persistence to your benefit, as all those achievers before you have. In doing so I am certain you will accomplish much more than you can imagine you are capable of at this point in your life. Dare to dream, but even more importantly, dare to put action behinds your dreams... Your friend in cyberspace, Josh Hinds

Written by Josh Hinds of http://www.GetMotivation.com Sign up for my ezine at http://www.GetMotivation.com/ezines.html

Having The Confidence To Make That First Step

Quite a few years ago, I was enjoying an afternoon in the park with a couple of friends of mine. One of my friends had brought her dog, and as we were playing Frisbee, another dog came out of nowhere and started viciously attacking my friend's dog. One of my friends, Mark, reacted instantly, running to the dogs and managing to beat off the attacking dog and causing it to run away.

What did I do during that momentary instant of chaos? I froze. I stood there. I just stood there, watching the whole thing. Even now, even though it was a minor incident taking place 10 years ago, I still look back at that moment with shame. I resolved that I would never let fear keep me from taking action when action was needed. With a few exceptions (of course), I like to think that I've been able to live up to this resolution.

I think this lesson has an important parallel in business and marketing. One of the factors that keeps a lot of people from succeeding is the fact that we are usually afraid to push our limits. That means we end up taking the safe route and never understanding what we are truly capable of.

Take, for instance, starting a home business. Most people have dreamed of owning their own business, or at least supplementing their income with a side venture. However, 99% of those people don't take the risk to actually take the first step. They are afraid that they will lose money, or that they will fail, or that they will just look silly.

Well, first off, there are ways of beginning a business with very little money, especially if you don't mind starting off small. As for the fear of failing, so what? Failing is not something that you should be ashamed of -- instead, you should be proud that you had the courage to try. The same goes for "looking silly" -- who is sillier, the person who tries something innovative and creative, or the person who sits back and does nothing? I know what my answer is to THAT question.

I'm not trying to be a Tony Robbins here and say that you can achieve anything you want just by visualizing it -- all I'm saying is that NO ONE should be afraid to try to achieve their dreams. I'm not advocating quitting your job and sinking all your savings into junk bonds -- but don't let fear keep you from exploring all your avenues. Sure, you may have some regrets, but then again, you may end up praising the day that you decided to act. If you just sit back and do nothing, it is much more likely that you will have regrets later in your life.

Ron Sathoff is a noted speaker and manager of DrNunley's http://InternetWriters.com He provides copy-writing, marketing, Internet promotion, and help for business speakers. Reach him at ron@drnunley.com or 801-328-9006.

Change Your Life With The 90/10 Secret

The 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. Their is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different!. Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will change your life! What is this secret?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you, YOU can control how you react! Let's use an example.

You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize them for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been to busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.. After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day? ___ A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did the Policeman cause it? D) Did you cause it?

The answer is d. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having.

Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction. Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret.

=> If someone says something negative about you, do not be sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

=> How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you loose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!

=> You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job.

=> The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

You now know the 90-10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.

** (C) 2001, Arlen Busenitz. Arlen is a free lance writer ** specializing in people skills and personal improvement. ** Discover the Secret to Making People Like You-- Free ** http://www.Magic-People-Skills.com?90:10 ** Mailto:Ab400@juno.com

Are You On or Off Track?

Are you on the right track?

"Every calling is great when greatly pursued." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841-1935)

Living on purpose. It's a growing, evolving process. It takes focus, clarity and regular reflection. Here's one story about a client's evolution and effort to stay on purpose.

Paul is doing some incredible things. His business bottom line is up and stronger than ever. There are new opportunities on the horizon allowing him to live his dream and in many ways he's on the leading edge in his industry.

I met Paul four years ago. He was referred to me when I was making marketing calls to businesses in my area. Paul was very interested in personal and professional development. Our first call lead to some interesting conversations and Paul subsequently participated in many classes I taught. Two years ago, Paul joined my purpose discovery workshop, resulting in his purpose statement:

"I eagerly seek to acquire and share knowledge to be of benefit to all."

Paul told me he had always wanted to be a public speaker and to him, his purpose statement was a clear reflection of this desire. By understanding this is what he naturally loved doing and sought to contribute, Paul began to shift his life and pursue his dream. We started a weekly coaching program. He also signed up for Toastmasters to hone his speaking skills and he hasn't looked back.

Paul's company is a small independent wholesale supplier of cleaning and sanitation products. You might be thinking to yourself, "That doesn't seem very glamorous. I thought you said he's doing some incredible things. He's just selling cleaning products."

Paul's business is selling cleaning products, but his real passion is infection control. He has taken it upon himself to develop an expertise in cleaning and infection control so healthy people don't get sick and sick people have a chance to heal. He's not a scientist, but Paul understands the science of infection control. His real specialty, however, is the Art of Infection Control. He's the "what to do and how to do it guy" people in his local health care community often turn to for advice.

Today, aside from running his business, Paul speaks at conferences and is connecting leading experts in the field of infection control with the front line hospital and nursing home staff across the country by leading and facilitating group TeleLectures on the phone.

Let's back up two years. Although he longed to speak in front of groups, Paul felt handicapped by a slight stutter. It wasn't until he realized what his purpose was, "...to acquire and share knowledge..." that despite his reticence, he decided to go for it.

Paul is developing an excellent reputation now and in just two years, is known as an "expert" in his field. He has no Ph.D. in science and doesn't really need one. He calls on others' scientific expertise when needed. He's able to make a fantastic contribution through what he knows, "The Art of Infection Control" -- how to use the Science.

Education in the Art of Infection Control is part of Paul's vehicle for touching the world. In the beginning, Paul had a lot of doubts about actually making this happen. "I need a degree," he thought. "No one will take me seriously," he told me. "I don't know how to speak to groups," etc., etc. All of these "issues" have been overcome and he is indeed living his dream. His goal of speaking and sharing his knowledge and insights aligns with who he is. It "just seems natural." When you act in alignment with your deepest drive to contribute, it never really feels like work.

Then, last week, with two years of success behind him, Paul called me and said, "I'm not sure if I'm on track or if my purpose is correct."

Sometimes even when we know the direction we want to go, we can get lost. We lose sight of our goal; we forget why we're doing something or maybe the day-to-day pressures and distractions make it seem like we're off track. Maybe we think our purpose is not big enough.

So, with this new doubt we took some time and reviewed Paul's purpose. (We only wonder if we're off track when we're in doubt, when we lose focus, when our vision is cloudy. Of course most of us don't review if we're on purpose, when we're feeling great, focused and aligned.)

This may sound simple, but in review, I asked Paul if he was still "eagerly seeking to acquire and share his knowledge". He said yes. Then I asked him to look at his drive to do this and "to be of benefit to all".

"Is this still what you are trying to do?" "Yes, it is."

"Does this purpose still reflect your deepest drive to contribute?" Another resounding "YES!"

"Then is this statement of purpose indeed still absolutely valid?" "YES!"

"Are you sure there is nothing missing or is there something else you need to add?" "No" said Paul, "I guess I wasn't really seeing things with my purpose in focus."

Paul was reconnected to his purpose.

Because of the clarity of his actions and intention, Paul is doing incredible things in all aspects of his life. His business, his church life, and his relationships all continue to grow and be aligned with his unique contribution, despite occasional feelings of doubt or distraction. Living a meaningful life, one of purpose, is an evolving process. As a matter of fact, it's a lifetime job.

SPECIAL NOTE Usually we equate success with being on purpose. But note: you can be 100% on purpose and not necessarily succeed or reach your goal. Your purpose is about your drive to contribute. It is "what you are trying to do" and at which you may or may not succeed. Purpose is the driver. In Paul's case, the driver is "to acquire and share knowledge to be of benefit to all."

Maybe he is unsuccessful in acquiring a certain nugget of knowledge or is unsuccessful in clearly sharing his knowledge. This does not mean he is not on purpose. The mere fact of attempting to acquire and trying to share knowledge shows alignment with purpose.

Sure, we all want to be successful but it is not the only criteria by which we measure your alignment with your purpose. We measure being on purpose as the process of authentically seeking to create the results you want. It is the process of being and doing and is not necessarily tied to immediate results.

Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Nelson Mandela all strived for years in the service of their purpose, often meeting with defeat after defeat. They too may have had setbacks and doubts, yet continued to keep focused on their purpose.

If you get stuck, try stepping back from the "results" and look at the bigger process. Are your actions aligned with your deepest drive to contribute and live a purposeful life? Only you know, and your answers will reveal to you if you are on purpose. You may need to make a few adjustments or maybe, if you are like Paul, just need a reminder that you are on the right track.

Robert Knowlton is an Executive and Business Success Coach. Subscribe to my free e-newsletter, ON PURPOSE to get coaching tips and strategies for living a success-full and meaningful life. Visit my web site at: http://www.SuccessOptions.com/ezine.htm?SF

Obstacles Are There To Inspire You

At one time or another, each one of us will suffer from some kind of adversity. Especially in recent weeks, many of us who have always felt invincible have seen evidence to the contrary. Many of us have lost friends of loved ones, and all of us are feeling the pain of loss and invasion.

Some of us have experienced more adversity in our lives than others. Many of us have suffered from financial hardship, physical or mental illness, or other difficulties that never seem to let up. However, as many Americans have said in recent days, we cannot let adversity change our way of life or deter us from living. If we do, the forces of evil and sadness will have found victory. And we simply cannot let that happen.

Such is the case in any aspect of life. From personal experience in battling four incurable illnesses, including MS and Lupus, I cannot even express to each and every one of you how important it is to look adversity in the face and continue on, chasing your dreams.

When I was diagnosed with my diseases, I was utterly devastated. For a time, I thought I'd never achieve my dreams of going to college, teaching, and being a writer. But with the help of a supportive husband and children, I started college at age 46, graduated, and became a published author. I'm now a well-known writer, teacher, and online businesswoman. In spite of all that has gone wrong in my life, I have found success and fulfilled my dreams, and so can you.

Instead of letting life's obstacles bring you down and destroy you, use them. Use your adversities to make you stronger and help you succeed in business, education, or whatever you choose. Use hardship to toughen you.

Telling your story to your customers and associates will undoubtedly get you support, respect, and even success. Don't embellish your tale or beg for pity, but don't be afraid to let people know what you have been through. Being honest about your life's history will inspire trust and understanding in others who may very well have been down the same road.

Author Barbara Jeanne Fisher is author of the acclaimed love story, "Stolen Moments" and has used her illness to inspire herself and others to succeed. Her web site, found at http://www.angelfire.com/ab6/dlipton/ is a virtual library of health information and inspiration. Barbara can be contacted at mentorsfriend@cros.net.

Confidence - The Belief In Your Abilities

Confidence is not something that can really be taught. It can be learned, but for me to say that I wish to show you how to become confident in 5 easy steps isn't appropriate. Confidence is a trait we all have to varying levels. Those that are very self-assured generally believe in who they are, what they are doing and pursue their convictions with vigor based on this belief. Confidence isn't hard to learn. It comes to you with knowledge, experience and desire.

Through our lifetime, we will tackle new challenges; some will be known quantities while others will be unknown. It is how we tackle our problems and what we learn from them that is important. You can't always confront things that you have no experience in, but if you regularly doubt your confidence, you may become insular and seldom stray from the familiar.

It is through our knowledge of the familiar, where we can draw on our strengths to move on to new and more challenging tasks. It is our knowledge of our abilities, which gives us the strength we need, to ask more from ourselves to move up to the next level. Your confidence is paramount in your success!

Tell me, have you ever heard of any success stories where the Gold Medallist, CEO, President or Prime Minister lacked confidence? Had they done so, then it's unlikely they would have got themselves into their respective position. Your belief in your abilities is your confidence. It is everything. It is a lack of confidence that precludes us from doing many things simply because our faith in ourselves is lacking.

Okay, let's assume your self-confidence is down. Negative results and negative feedback are two major contributors to shaking our own personal belief. There are reasons for negative results, which should be examined in detail. Generally speaking, it is because someone, maybe yourself, had higher expectations than you could deliver. Of course, there are a myriad of possibilities but let's work on this one. When this happens you have two possibilities:

Ø Crawl into your shell full of guilt and shame Ø Learn from it and bounce back with a vengeance

The first option isn't really an option, as it will zap your confidence. In fact, it will strip you of self-belief and make it difficult for you to tackle it again. Option 2 is all about learning from your mistakes and jumping right back on the horse. It is your persistence, willingness to learn and your belief in yourself and your abilities, which keeps you marching forward. This will give your self-confidence a major boost.

Remember, failing once at something is simply a learning exercise, which tells you that the way you have just tried isn't working It's not asking you to give up, it's simply closing one door. All you need to do is find another door and open it. It is this attitude that will build your self-confidence, as you will be learning along the way and amending your application and plan.

It is this reviewing as you go followed by adjust, amend and focus that allows you to choose wisely. Nevertheless, you must choose. You can't expect other people to make your choices for you. Sure, others will assist you but the final choice will always be up to you. You will occasionally choose poorly along the way. In fact, you will almost with certainty choose poorly quite regularly at the beginning.

This is normal and to be expected. How else do you get the experience that we all so desperately long to have? It is our decisions, which give us experience to make further and more highly informed decisions along the way.

Can you see how your confidence can build here? As your confidence grows in your abilities, you will become more able. They are directly linked.

You will need to take risks along the way. Dependant upon your personality will be the level of risk you take. If you have a Managed Investment Portfolio then look at the level of risk you have invested, this will give you a good indication of how much risk you will take. It will show you how far out on a limb you may go out of your comfort zone, in order to get what it is you really want. If you don't have such a policy, then draw a parallel. You could write down what your definition of "risk" really is and use it as a guide.

Your self-confidence grows as you grow. This gives you a broader understanding of your options, which allows you to make knowledgeable decisions, utilizing your power of choice. Choice needs to be learned. At the beginning, there is only one option. If we decide on that route then we haven't taken full advantage of our birthright. Every other species on this earth has not got the level of choice that is available to us. Don't let anyone push your buttons. Choose to push them yourself as you pursue your goals choosing to become successful.

Subscribe to Darren's popular "Success and Self-Motivation" Weekly publication, "AAvenues 2 Your Success" and receive for free his new E-Book "How To Build A Healthy Attitude".

Subscribe: URL: http://topliving.com

It's An Inside Job

Why is it that you don't yet have all that you want in your life? Why is it that you never seem to be moving forward, making progress, or reaching your goals?

Could it be that there is some force out there holding you back? Could it be your competitors, your family, your friends, or could it be something closer to home?

Could it be... an "inside job?"

Well, my dear friend let me share with you what I learned recently while attending a seminar given by Carole Dore. You may not know her name, but when I share with you what she taught, I'm sure you'll identify with her message!

Let me start by saying that you get what you focus on. So if you focus your thoughts on what you don't want in your life, you get more of what it is that you don't want. Most often, people know what they don't want and will typically be really quick to tell you so!

So let me ask you, what do you really want from your life. I mean, how often do you stop to think about your life in terms of how you would most like it to be, rather than how much you may not like the way it is now?

Now, if you focus on what it is that you do want, you will get it... and often much more of it than you asked for!

You are your thoughts. In fact, our lives are merely the printout of our innermost thoughts. And you thought that you could think whatever you wanted and that nobody could ever tell, right? You are your thoughts. You get what you think about most often.

If that is true, then look at your life, your business, and even your relationships right now. Do you like what you see? Are you happy with what you have? Or do you really want more?

What have you been thinking about? Do you focus on how little money you make in your business, so you actually begin to make LESS money? Do you spend your day complaining about your significant other so instead of making things better, they actually get worse as time goes on?

Are you constantly bothered by what your neighbor is doing instead of being focused on what you are doing?

Or, are you the type of person who can really overlook all the negative stuff that surrounds you and truly focus instead on what it is you really want in your life? If you are this type of person, I'll bet that your life is a happy one.

Do you think about your business in terms of what it is like to actually be the owner of the most successful business on the block? Do you see yourself living the good life, owning real estate, or even traveling the world?

Many people actually do focus on what it is that they really want in their lives, and still they don't get what they want! Now, wait a minute, didn't I just say that you get what you focus on? You bet I did!

What happens is that you may focus on what you want until you encounter the first obstacle to get in your way. At that very moment, your vision is crushed, and the dream dies.

You see, life is testing you and I all the time. And when you don't give up on your dreams, even when it seems all hope is lost, what most often happens is that your dreams are realized - quicker and more powerfully than ever!

How often have you kept at it, even in the face of adversity, only to realize your dream shortly thereafter?

I can tell you from my own experience that this has happened in my own life on many occasions. Building a successful business is a process that takes time, energy, effort, and most of all it means that you never lose sight of your dreams.

I know many people who lost sight of their dream of business ownership and who are today working at jobs they hate for bosses they don't respect. Their lives reflect their pain in poor bank accounts and poor relationships. The good news is that this does not have to be the way they go through life!

Listen, if this is indeed your life, and you are indeed going to make a success of it, why would you ever let anything come between you and your dreams? Start out by making a decision right now that you will do what it takes to get what you really want in your life.

Create a powerful, highly detailed vision of what your life looks and feels like when you have what it is that you really want.

Spend a lot of time on your vision. Make it as vivid as you can. Feel how it feels inside, see it, smell it, taste it, and touch it. Make it so real that your mind cannot tell that it is not already real in your life.

Then, stick to it. Keep focused on your vision no matter what happens in your life and you will realize your dream - life is simply set up that way.

In 1989 I began selling for the very first time online. Today, I am one of America's top Internet marketers because I stuck to my vision of becoming this very person. It didn't happen over night. It took years and tens of thousands of hours surfing the Internet. And there were many times where I could have just quit, but I never did. I kept my dream alive in my heart.

And because I didn't quit, I get the honor and privilege to sit here and write to you today. To teach you what I know. And I get to live the life of my dreams, living in the most temperate climate in the entire country.

These things are real today in my life because I made a decision, created a vision, and I stuck to it no matter how hard things became.

Today I get to teach thousands of people how to make money on the Internet. And, I get to meet new people all the time, I get to travel, and I get to do what I want when I want.

And, you can too! You have the potential within you to make your life everything you've always wished it would become... and you can start right now!

This article is over. It's time for you to take action and make your life a life that is enjoyable in every way. You are the only one that can make it happen. . . so go to it!

Robert Imbriale is an internationally known Internet marketing expert who has helped sell well over $100 Million in products and services on the Internet. His work is published worldwide and he has written several books including "Internet Marketing Secrets" which is now available free on the Internet at http://www.ultimatewealth.com. Robert can be reached via e-mail at Robert@ultimatewealth.com.

Learn From Lee Iacocca

Lee Iacocca, the son of a poor immigrant, has become one of America's most respected business men. From lowly beginnings and through many adversities, he worked his way up to President of the Chrysler Corporation.

Just out of college, he began working for the Ford Motor Company as a student engineer. On the assembly line, he learned every aspect of how automobiles were put together.

Although he was awkward and bashful, Lee was promoted to a salesman. It was there that he met a man who took him under his wings and taught Iacocca how to be the best salesman he could.

In 1956 sales were slumping at Ford. Iacocca suggested offering a new 1956 Ford for a modest down payment, followed by three years of $56 payments. The "56 for 56" idea took off like a rocket.

After 10 long years of hard work, Lee had become an "overnight success."

Soon he was promoted to work as manager for Ford's national truck marketing, then another promotion to head the company's car marketing.

Not stopping there, Iacocca set out to develop his own style of car. In 1964 Ford introduced the Mustang. Ford dealerships were literally mobbed with people wanting to buy the car and a new yearly sales record was established.

In 1970, Lee was promoted to the ultimate position, president of Ford Motor Company, second in command under Henry Ford II.

Never wanting to stop at success, he kept coming up with innovative and cost cutting ideas.

But, trouble lay ahead.

Ford was in control, like it or not, and he liked to exercise that control whatever the consequences might be. Ford began to worry about this "son of an immigrant" taking over the family business.

It was salami slicing time at Ford. And Henry did it one slice at a time. Finally, Lee learned through a friend that he too had gotten the

axe.

Under the terms of resignation, Iaccoca was given an office until he found a job. It turned out to be in an obscure warehouse. A little cubicle with a small desk, one telephone, and cracked linoleum on the floor.

For Iaccoca it was like being sent to Siberia.

It wasn't long before he was offered the presidency of Chrysler Corporation. Not exactly a cushy position. Chrysler was in trouble, big trouble. The same day Chrysler announced the hiring of Lee Iaccoca, they also announced their worst deficit in history.

The internal affairs at Chrysler were a mess. This was a company that was going to the dogs, and going there fast.

Rolling up his shirt sleeves, Lee went to work trying to bring some manner of cohesion to the upper level management. Then he hired a top notch public relations firm to get back customer confidence.

Things still didn't get any better. To make matters worse, the world economy in 1979 was falling apart. Gas prices were doubling and the fuel efficient import cars were taking over domestic sales.

Chrysler got hit hard.

Iaccoca's company was going under and he knew it. There was only 1 course for him to take. He went to the US Government seeking loans for a bail out. Congress was not impressed, but Lee had done his homework. He argued that if Chrysler collapsed it would cost the country $2.75 billion dollars alone in unemployment benefits.

His speech before the US Congress was so convincing, that Iacocca and Chrysler got their loans.

In his fight for survival, Lee cut his own salary to $1 a year. Everybody in management got a salary cut except for the secretaries, who Iaccoca believed deserved every cent they made.

Next he took on the union and said: "Look boys, I've got a shotgun to your head. I've got thousands of jobs at seventeen bucks an hour. I've got no jobs open at twenty."

The company began an all-American ad campaign to promote their new fuel efficient K-car. The car soon began to sell like hot cakes.

His persistence and "never give up" attitude and his willingness to do whatever measures it took to ensure the viability of the company worked. Chrysler paid back the loans a full seven years ahead of their due date.

Lee Iacocca had become a roaring success.

His thoughts are:

"Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something! Don't just stand there, make something happen. It isn't easy, but if you keep your nose to the grindstone and work at it, it's amazing how in a free society you can become as great as you want to be. And, of course, also be grateful for whatever blessings God bestows on you."

Dave Cole Editor/Publisher Prosperity: The Choice Is Yours http://choosetoprosper.com

Initiating and Managing Your Own Change

Have you ever accomplished something, then wondered where to go next? Or, perhaps you've accomplished something and just continued down that same path because it worked. Many people become stuck in this way because of the "security of sameness." You can get stuck from problems as well as triumphs.

I have to say that my life has been a most interesting set of twists and turns, but I've always had the opportunity to maintain a little bit of control. The control I kept, however, was not over my environment or my direction, but on me and how I handled or initiated change. You realize when you get stuck and that you devise a plan to move forward---it all depends on how you manage and initiate your own change.

--- Planning Out Your Life ---

I hear so many people say that you cannot plan your life, "you just let it happen." So, what happens while you're sitting there waiting for life to happen? But, if you plan your life too rigidly, what experiences will you miss out on?

You really can't plan your life right up to the end, nor can you plan it out five years and expect it to work as you expect. I know that sounds bad, but planning your life and expecting to stick to it will only limit your options and keep you in one place all the time.

Realize that, as you experience change and enjoy life, you grow. Growth spawns new ideas, feelings, and intellect that change your point of view. As your point of view changes, so do your directions and options in life. You must be willing to change your life's plan as you grow so that you can take on more challenging things and be accepting of other new experiences.

As I write, I think of some of the things I've done in my life. I once worked for a major corporation and wanted to be in management. But, once I got there, what was next? Nothing. I didn't realize that I forgot to think about what happened next and I didn't know that once I got there---"there" was not where I wanted to be anymore.

The point is that you cannot plan your life in an absolute manner or you'll either miss out on new experiences or end up in a place you no longer want to be. You must learn to adapt and change your plan after each step of your path. As you achieve each new goal, you grow, taking you one step further.

--- Geometry of Life ---

Sameness is security for many. You wake up, go to work, go to the store, take care of the kids, change the oil in the car---what else is there? If you notice, the sameness you experience is in the form of a geometric shape---line, square, circle, rectangle, or triangle. Take note of the things you do during your day and determine the shape of the consistent paths you take.

For instance, when I worked in downtown Denver and lived south of town, my path was a straight line. I lived at the end of Broadway, 14 miles from town. I drove down Broadway to my office, which was located in a building on Broadway itself. All of my stores, friends, and family were within one block on either side of Broadway. This became so monotonous that I could drive to work in a daze and still get there safely. Sound familiar?

The easiest way to break out of this shape is to change your path from time-to-time. I'm not specifically referring to your path to and from work. I'm speaking of any path that seems to have etched itself into your existence---you create a "rut" in your virtual road from travelling the same path too often. For instance, instead of going down Broadway, I should've taken the freeway and made a square, then changed it later to some other shape.

At first, even small changes will take a lot of effort, but the one thing you'll begin to notice is that you're indirectly changing other things as well. This is what you want to do!

Once you "break out of your shape" you have to figure out what it is that you want out of life. Don't go material, go more for fulfillment as material things are only a reward for accomplishments. Also, being emotional beings, satisfying a feeling or desire is a fulfilling reward in itself---it makes us feel whole.

--- Making a Plan ---

To help you stay out of your rut, you must make a plan that takes into account the many things you want to do in life that fulfill you. The overall plan consists of your Mission, your Vision, and your Goals. Each of these items identifies what you want, where you're going, and how to get there.

* Defining Your Objectives Realize that, just because you want to do something, there is a reason you want to do that thing (i.e., fulfillment, acceptance, and education.) Since you're probably not sure why you want to do these things, you might want to do a dozen or so things with each providing the same fulfillment---this leads to clutter and confusion.

To resolve this situation, write down all of the different objectives you have in your life. Make them action phrases like "writing a book" or "driving across the country." Make the list as long or as short as you like.

Once you're done, next to each item, write the specific fulfillment to be achieved next to each item. Make each word an adjective or each phrase descriptive of something tangible. For instance, "writing a book" might provide "fame and fortune" while "driving across the country" might provide "freedom." Once you've finished classifying your objectives, you'll find that most of them duplicate the fulfillment achieved and others have no reason at all. This is where a lot of people run into a problem! You have a million things to do, no time to do any of them, and your inner need is to feel the fulfillment.

To resolve this, group the items in separate lists by the fulfillment you describe and eliminate those items that have no reason. From each new list, figure out the tasks that will give you the greatest feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. From this final list, you have your primary objectives to accomplish---all others are secondary and should not be focused upon until you've finished your primary objectives.

* Your Mission, Vision, and Goals Once you've figure out your primary objectives, you must now figure out how to get there. This is not an easy task and it might take a few days to cut through the fog that has settled in your mind.

The Vision is a view of things in the future---where you see yourself. It is the tangible item that you chase to feel the fulfillment you seek. Realize that your Vision will change many times over your life, but each redefinition gives you a clearer view of where you want to go based on your growth.

The Mission is a statement that defines what you will do to reach your Vision---the action that you perform to reach your Vision. As your Vision changes, so must your Mission because your direction will change as well.

Goals are important in that they add direction and purpose to life. They define the intermediate steps involved in accomplishing your Mission. These are selected items from your objectives that must be achieved to build the path of your Mission. As each Goal is accomplished, you are that much closer to your Vision.

--- Executing the Plan ---

Once you've defined your Goals, you can begin defining and executing your plan of action. For each Goal, you must define the steps required to reach them. For instance, one of my past Visions was to "work at home as a writer." My Mission was to do "technical writing and work in other writing arenas to enhance my talent and my exposure." Some of my Goals to reach the initial Vision were:

- Locate three writing contracts. - Work to generate income for six months of unemployment. - Locate insurance. - Quit day job.

For each Goal, I defined a set of smaller steps or actions that helped me accomplish the Goal. For instance, my plan of action for "Locate three writing contracts" was:

- Assemble my writing samples. - Rebuild Web site to advertise my work. - Rewrite resume to reflect direction for software documentation. - Talk to local recruiters about opportunities. - Visit sites for telecommuting opportunities on a weekly basis. - ...

Obviously, you must be careful when defining your Goals and plan of action so that you perform the steps in the proper order. If you define your steps in such a way that you end up in a deadlock, then your entire plan is useless. Make sure that you organize your Goals and your plan of action such that each step builds on the previous.

--- What's next? ---

Don't feel that this process is over after you do it the first time. Realize that you will grow as you accomplish your Goals toward your Vision. As you grow, your Vision will change and so must you change your Mission and Goals.

This is an iterative process that forces you to re-evaluate your direction as you accomplish each Goal in your path. Not only will this reevaluation and reassessment of your direction help you stay out of the consistent geometric shapes that put you in a rut, but it will keep your life moving forward to greater fulfillment in the things that really make a difference for you.

Edward B. Toupin is a freelance consultant, writer, and published author living in Las Vegas. With 10 years of experience, Edward provides quality Web site design, development, and marketing as well as writing, document design and planning, and e-book publishing services. You can visit his Web site at http://www.toupin.com or contact him at etoupin@toupin.com.

Keep Focused On the Goal and Go Around The Obstacle

One of the most exciting activities you can engage in is goal setting. The future is bright and filled with endless possibilities, and by carefully planning a set of actions and milestones you can achieve nearly any goal you commit yourself to.

After you make your plan, the first few weeks are energizing as you see yourself moving toward the goal. Your vision expands and you can feel the positive energy as you visualize the future and your anticipated accomplishments.

But sooner or later it's inevitable that you will face an unforeseen obstacle that seems impossible to overcome. The obstacle may be financial in nature, such as unplanned expenses or a failure to achieve initial revenue targets. It may come in the form of a person or a group of people who stand in direct opposition to your plans. You'll know when you encounter one of these immovable obstacles when you find yourself feeling defeated. It's at this stage that most goals get derailed.

I think of these immovable obstacles as mules. Mules have three key characteristics.

1) They will completely stop your progress. They seem to wait until you're moving full steam ahead, and then step out in front of you to block the path to your goal.

2) They're stubborn. When you attempt coax them to move, they ignore you. When you try to move them out of the way, they plant their feet and refuse to budge.

3) They don't go away. They seem determined to keep you from achieving your goals.

When a mule steps out in front of you to block the achievement of your goal, you essentially have four options:

1) Abandon your goal. You can rationalize that the goal isn't really important, or you can simply give up and feel defeated. This is a common response to mules, especially for people who are in the early stages of working toward a goal. Hopefully, you're committed to achieving your goals and have the determination to overcome any obstacle.

2) Wait for the mule to go away. This will generally lead you back to option one, because if the obstacle is truly a mule, it won't go away. Goals, properly set, include milestones and are time-sensitive. The longer you remain in a stalled condition waiting for a mule to move, the more milestones you'll miss, and eventually you'll be forced to admit failure.

3) Move the mule out of the way. This will also generally lead you back to option one, because if it's really a mule, you won't be able to move it. One of the most common pitfalls in attempting to achieve a goal is getting de-focused. Trying to move a mule is a totally frustrating experience, and you'll dissipate your energy in the process. If you want to succeed, you've got to keep your eye on the goal and not on the mule. Remember, your objective is to achieve your goal; not to move the mule.

4) Go around the mule. This is easier said than done, because it's the mule's nature to completely block the path to your goal. Keeping your eye on your goal, you simply concede that the mule is truly a mule and will not be moved. Therefore, you find another path to the goal.

A Case in Point

Last year, my daughter came up with a business plan to set up an art gallery, a dream she had thought about for years. The cost to lease and renovate a space in a prominent location was well beyond her means, but after several months of diligent effort, she found a backer who was willing to invest the money to get her started.

She was so excited! After finding the perfect space, she began working out her goals down to the smallest details. She was finally on the road to achieving her dream. Then, just before she was to sign the lease agreement, a mule stepped out into the road. Her backer backed out of the deal. Without the finances, there would be no art gallery, and after an exhaustive search for another backer she was ready to give up in the face of an immovable mule.

Before the mule had exhausted all her energy and vision, she began refocusing on her goal, which was to start an art show business. A friend of hers owns a popular night club and offered to let her host an art show at the club on a week night. After a tremendous job of creative planning, she held her first show and completely packed out the club. It was a total success.

She recently finished her third highly-profitable, standing-room-only show, and is well on her way to building a successful art show business without the expense of a permanent gallery. In going around the mule, she found that she could eliminate the need for a major expense and at the same time take advantage of the established clienteles of successful night clubs. Today she's more fired up about her goal than ever, and realizes that the mule turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Learn to Recognize the Real Mules and Go Around Them It's often difficult to spot a mule when it blocks the road to your goal. Unexpected obstacles often get in the way, and generally with creativity and determination you can successfully move or eliminate them. But when a real mule comes along, learn to recognize it by its stubborn, immovable nature.

When you initially define a goal, you should attempt to anticipate the obstacles and roadblocks you'll meet along the way, and plan accordingly. But once you get started, when you run into an unexpected mule, step back and focus on the essence of your goal. Get creative. Look for high ground and assess the landscape. There may be an even better path to your goal that you've overlooked, and if you can find it you'll have the mule to thank!

Getting The Winning Attitude

What does it take in our everyday lives to be successful? In order to evaluate this question it is first necessary to understand what "success" is and what all successful people have in common. It is probably safe to assume that anyone reading this article wants to be successful.However, only 5% of the population will ever reach their potential for all activities, 95% of the people will never truly be successful.By definition, success is the realization of a worthy deal. Success is different for every individual.For some people, an annual income of $25,000 would be a success, for another it may be $125,000. Whatever it may be for you, there are 5 characteristics that you must have in common with other successful people in order to achieve true success.

Goals are the single most important factor in achieving success. Without a realistic goal, how will you ever know when you have reached your success level.All successful people set goals.All goals must be realistic, short term, measurable and obtainable within the bounds of your own perception.As time passes, your goals can always be adjusted upward to reach your ultimate goal of success. However, if your initial goal is to be worth $1,000,000 by the year end and you are currently only worth $100,000 with an annual income of $50,000 a year and this is November, you most likely will never be able to reach it and therefore, it is unrealistic.Biting off a job in small portions makes the eventual achievement of the total task seem easier and manageable.All successful people constantly set goals, re-evaluate their goals and scale them upward toward even greateraccomplishments.

A positive attitude is the second factor that successful people have in common.I have never met a truly successful person who I would consider a "self made" success that did not have a positive attitude.These people relate to the world on a positive basis.They always look for the "can do" not the "can not do" side of every situation. "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right."All successful people truly believe not only in themselves, but in the reality of their goals. A positive attitude is contagious and when it is sincere, the people with whom you come in contact will relate to you and your activities with a vitality and positive attitude that causes a winning, successful environment.

The truth is always best to deal with for several reasons, not the least important of which is that it is always the easiest to remember.If you are going to be successful, you will not have time, energy and ability to remember untruths, or lies that you have told people. This consumes valuable energy and detracts from the power needed to run a successful life.The truth is easy to remember and generally, in the long term, easier to deal with. True winners are always ready to face the truth in situations and handle things as they deal with them on a timely basis and then proceed to get on with the business of running a successful, prosperous life.Never having to back track to cover up problem areas.

Research and Development in today's society have become extremely important to all major corporations.This is where all new products and ideas evolve.Successful individuals have always understood this principal on a personal level and they constantly strive to improve their own abilities through such methods as formal educational systems, seminars, reading books, listening to ideas the thoughts of others, and in any manner that presents itself to them.Successful people truly believe they can improve themselves and constantly strive to seek methods and means that will help them accomplish this task. They also know that there is a price to pay for this success and the return on investment is sometimes great and sometimes small, but that the return without the investment is always the same "0".

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it." -Henry Ford

Man's ability over all other creatures on this Earth is the ability to think.All successful people use this talent to improve their lives and control their own destiny.Only you can take the initial step toward the unleashing of the power within your own mind. The power is awesome and at times can be frightening. However, man has abilities of the mind that many people can not or would not believe.Anthony Robbins has recently written a book entitled "Unlimited Power" which explains in simple terms the theories of Neuro Linguistic Programming, the power of the mind and how to gain control and use it.NLP was originally developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler as a communication system using the central nervous system.Through this system Mr. Robbins has put forth a complete outline on how to unleash your "performance power" and achieve goals that before you probably felt were impossible.

he first step in using your true mental abilities is understanding what Mr. Robbins refers to as the seven triggering mechanisms that is sure success.

1.Passion - All truly successful people such as Lee Iacocca have a driving force within them that sets them apart from others. A desire, an energy that gives them the fuel to reach their true potential.This force is a part of them 24 hours a day, seven days a week.It never subsides. Their total existence is sustained for the fulfillment of their goals. The passion within this individual to achieve has been so deeply implanted, that their mental power is driven by this force and will not let them do anything other than achieve.

2.Belief - "They can because they think they can"-Virgil.You will only make $100,000 this year if you first believe you can.If you do not believe you can you are telling yourself you want it, but it is truly not obtainable.The truth of life is that man's limits are self imposed by what the mind is given to believe.If you expand your belief of your own abilities, you will also expand your true realm of accomplishment. A man of whom all are aware, lived his life with adversity, but he constantly believed he could achieve. Failed in business at age 31 Was defeated in a legislative race at age 32 Failed again in business at age 34 Overcome death of sweetheart at age 35 Had a nervous breakdown at age 36 Lost an election at age 38 Lost a congressional race at age 43 Lost a congressional race at age 46 Lost a congressional race at age 48 Lost a Senatorial race at age 55 Failed to become Vice President at age 56 Lost a Senatorial race at age 58 Elected President of the United States atage 60

With all the adversity that faced him, President Abraham Lincoln had no reason to continually try other than the fact that he believed it was his destiny and measure of success to accomplish this task.

"Man is what he believes" -Anton Checkhov

3.Strategy - A strategy is your game plan of life. The road map you will use to accomplish your goals, ambitions and desires.Just to believe you can earn $100,000 a year is not enough, you must design a strategy that gives your life direction and navigates you toward success.The key to strategy is to design a proper strategy to achieve your success without the detours of life, to find the shortest distance between two points.

4.Clarity of Values - Man must first determine which things in life are most valuable to him. He must determine his feeling about such things as patriotism, pride, love, freedom, excellence, ownership and tolerance. These are values in society, the moral, ethical and fundamental judgements that we, as individuals, deem important.Without a clear system of values for ourselves, it is impossible to believe in something with a passion that has no value to us.Once we have established our individual value system we are then able to determine how we can achieve success based on our priority of values.What must we five up in one hand to accomplish what we desire on the other.Without a value system we can never move forward for we may be trading without increasing our potential for success.

5.Energy - Without the physical vitality to take action, nothing would ever come of our system to this point.The passion could build, our belief of accomplishment could be overwhelming, we could have the best strategy or map to achieve the ultimate value for our own life, but if not for taking the first step, nothing could ever be accomplished. Great success cannot be separated from physical, spiritual and mental energy that allows us, compels us, to accomplish the most with what we have to work with. Physical energy comes from the strength of the body itself fueled by our intake of nourishment.It is therefore important that we fuel our engine with premium fuel (good eating habits), not low grade regular (junk food). Our spiritual and intellectual energy evolves from our environment and it is therefore important that we assess our own personal environment to maximize the energy that we can obtain.

6.Bonding Power - We have all known people that have exhibited the ability to get along with anyone and everyone. The ability to be a chameleon is truly the ability to connect with and bond with others. The ability to build rapport.Being able to deal with others as Mr. Robbins says "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." To be able to understand the...

7.Mastery of Communication - To take charge and run your own mind. To learn the techniques of NLP and no longer allow our mind to run our lives, but rather take charge of our own mental abilities and cause them to work for our own accomplishment of success.

"There is only one Success - to be able to spend your life in your own way."

Helen Peelman - Freebies For Newbies Newsletter. subscribe: mailto:hpeelman@yahoo.com The Gold Club-The best money making Club on the Net.Join Free! http://www.gold-club.net/sponsor.asp?HP62371

Free Your Mind To Be Independent

"Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice." -Stephen Covey

I saw the movie Pearl Harbor over Memorial Day weekend. It served as a good reminder of the tremendous cost of freedom. There is also a tremendous cost to not having freedom.

In a physical sense, most of us enjoy freedom. In an emotional or psychological sense, however, an estimated 80% of the population puts themselves into a self-imposed prison cell on a regular basis. We forfeit our freedom of choice through our own thought processes. I frequently hear my clients say, "I have to" or "I gotta" or "I should" And when I hear those phrases I often ask, "Do you have to or do you choose to?" There are very few things in life that we have to do. Yet some of us forfeit our choice to the point of seeing our options in life as limited. This generally leads to a feeling of hopelessness.

There are indeed times when you are not at choice. When you are not at choice, you may be a victim. And sometimes you might slip into the victim role when, in fact, you do have choices. The first step toward getting out of a self-imposed victim role is to recognize the choices you have.

Exercise Your Free Will

"Independent will is our capacity to act. It gives us the power to transcend our paradigms, to swim upstream, to rewrite our scripts, to act based on principle rather than reacting based on emotion or circumstance." -Stephen Covey

We have been given the ability to examine our conscious thoughts and choose how we react in any given situation. We learn at a very early age that if we act a certain way, we will achieve a certain result.

Often the result we opt for is safety. And safety is necessary to preserve our physical well-being. However, our desire to be "safe" sometimes paralyzes our ability to exercise our free will. From childhood on, most of us have been programmed to "play it safe," and this often affects the choices we make as adults. We tell ourselves, "That was so disappointing before, so I better not take that chance again."

Do you allow your fear of hurt, rejection, or failure to determine how much risk you are willing to take? What is the cost of doing this? Perhaps you're stuck in a job or career path you hate, or you are in a relationship that does not serve you, or you've chosen not to pursue a relationship you want. Do you struggle with low self-esteem and self- confidence? If so, you are probably severely hampering your ability to manifest what you want in your life by convincing yourself that you should not try, or that you do not deserve what you really want. Our choices are strongly influenced by our disempowering emotions. By learning to recognize and step out of experiencing these emotions, a whole new world of possibility will be available to you.

I know this from personal experience. For 13 years I chose to stay in a stressful career that I did not find fulfilling. The more time I invested in that career path, the less at choice I felt. At one point I took an exam to receive a special certification in my field. When I passed the exam and was certified, I felt like there was no turning back! I told myself, "I can't leave this field now look how much I've invested in it!" And besides, I had no idea what else I could possibly do. Fear held me back, until one day the pain of not making a change outweighed the fear of the unknown.

Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, teaches us how to stop negative thinking patterns and reeducate our minds to think more positively. In her book, she shows us how to risk a little every day, how to turn every decision into a "No-Lose" situation, and much more.

When my clients focus on their values -- what is most important to them at the core -- they are more at choice and less at effect. They recognize that they have the freedom to choose based on their own values, versus being influenced by limiting beliefs, circumstances, or the opinions of others. One of the great joys of being a coach is that I get to journey with my clients as they create the work and play they are most passionate about. When passion and talents/skills intersect, there is no limit to the possibilities!

Inside-Out Thinking

"If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all." -Anna Quindlen

Most of us grew up with an "outside-in" model of thinking. In other words, we have been influenced by the advice and opinions of others rather than trusting the answers from within. When we follow the outside-in model, the results do not usually bring about a deep level of satisfaction or fulfillment. Outside-in thinking means that we try to change, improve, or transform ourselves and our circumstances based on what others think. Outside-in thinking represents a reactive model, based on external circumstances. Not only is this less effective, but it usually takes more effort and energy.

The "inside-out" model of thinking represents a proactive model, which is based on accessing one's own internal wisdom and core values. The word "proactive" means more than merely taking initiative. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen. When we align our actions with the essence of who we are and what we value most, we are using the inside-out model. As each of us more fully honors our essential selves and our values, outer conditions begin to change, improve, and even transform.

One of the best illustrations of the power of "inside-out" came to me when I was a child. I went to see the movie Papillon. For those not familiar with this story, Henri Charriere was a Frenchman who was convicted in 1931 of a murder he did not commit. Sentenced to life imprisonment, he spent 12 years in the penal colony of French Guiana. After eight unsuccessful attempts to escape, he finally got away to Venezuela. More than 20 years later, when he was 60, Charriere wrote his story, which became an international best seller and was made into a movie. One scene from the movie has stuck with me all these years. Charriere was locked in a dark, small cell in solitary confinement almost 24 hours a day. The only living things sharing the tiny prison cell with him were the roaches. He chose to make these roaches his "friends" and actually looked forward to seeing them on the occasions when a beam of light would come into his cell so he could see.

Now, if you're like me, I was taught that roaches were not my friends. This scene in the movie taught me a very important lesson in life: It is not our circumstances that make or break us, but rather our response to those circumstances. Jack Canfield illustrates this beautifully in his book, How to Build High Self-Esteem, by sharing this simple equation: E (experience) + R (response) = O (outcome).

In Charriere's case, the experience was that he was imprisoned in solitary confinement in a very small roach- infested cell with little or no light. The response was that he chose to think of the roaches as welcomed guests in his home -- his way of honoring his own value of having companionship in his life. The outcome was that he was able to maintain his sanity by inviting the roaches to provide him with the companionship he so desperately craved while in solitary confinement. Had Charriere's response been different, I'm certain he would have experienced a completely different outcome. As I recall, the movie paralleled Charriere's life with that of another prisoner in the same penal colony. Although the two prisoners shared similar experiences, their responses were quite different. The other man ended up losing his sanity and dying during an attempt to escape.

Although we may never find ourselves in Charriere's circumstances, I believe most of us are mentally imprisoned by our own response to experiences in our lives. When we experience emotions like fear, anger, and jealousy, we have chosen thoughts that put us in the smallest of jail cells. These emotions completely paralyze our freedom of choice.

We have the ability to be completely at choice about how we see things, how we feel, and what we do as a result. In Stephen Covey's book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he explains how these things are all connected: Our paradigms -- the lens through which we view things -- inform our thoughts. Our thoughts inform our feelings. Our feelings inform our response. Our response affects the outcome. This explains how two people working from different paradigms can experience the same event and yet experience completely different outcomes. To illustrate, Stephen Covey tells of an experience he once had:

Mr. Covey was sitting on a New York subway one quiet Sunday morning when a man and his children got on his subway car. The man sat down next to Covey and closed his eyes, while his children immediately began yelling back and forth, throwing things, and even grabbing people's papers. Although the children were being very disruptive, the father made no attempt to control his kids. It appeared that he was oblivious to the situation. Covey grew more irritated by the minute. Clearly everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So Covey finally turned to the man and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more?" The father lifted his gaze as he became conscious to the situation, and he said, "Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either." At this point, Covey shifted from feeling irritated and judgmental to feeling compassion, concern, and empathy. In other words, as Covey got more information, it shifted his paradigm, which shifted the way he thought about the situation, which shifted his feelings about the man and his children. And all of these shifts helped Covey to choose a different response, which changed the outcome for both Covey and the other man.

Kathy Paauw, a certified business/personal coach and organizing/productivity consultant, specializes in helping busy executives, professionals, and entrepreneurs declutter their schedules, spaces and minds. Contact her at orgcoach@gte.net or visit her website at http://www.orgcoach.net and learn how you can Find ANYTHING in 5 Seconds --Guaranteed!

The Greatest Fear Of All

FACE YOUR GREATEST FEAR!

Have you attended meetings where you wanted and were expected to contribute and simply did not dare to get up and be heard? Have you toyed with the idea of giving workshops to increase your business, but shied away because you were too scared to get up in front of an audience?

Why is it that so many us, who have worthwhile contributions to make, avoid getting up in front of a group of people, to put our thoughts into words? Why is it that small vocal minorities often seem to get their way? Why is it that Toastmasters International attracts over 170,000 members every year? Because many people are afraid to address an audience.

A U.S. publication, "The Book of Lists" reports that the greatest fear of people in North America is to get up in front of a group of people to make a presentation. You are not alone!

And what do most of us do to overcome this fear? We simply decline invitations to speak. In other words, we throw away opportunities for career advancement or increased business. We choose to remain in our comfort zone.

If we do accept to speak to an audience, we have a tendency to hide behind electronic wizardry rather than making our speech a promotional platform for ourselves and we fervently hope that the audience does not notice our shaking knees, trembling hands and quivering voice.

Real communication takes place when one human being reaches out to others by using his or her own natural wizardry. All the email, faxes and multi-media equipment in the world will not be able to replace the human voice, body language or emotion in communication.

Presentation skills are within all of us but we have often developed a negative attitude towards speaking in public. Many psychologists and therapists tend to agree that this phobia about public speaking might have developed as a learned negative behavior during our school years.

Kindergarten. Show and Tell. I bet you can recall several of your little class mates who were called upon by the teacher to do their "show and tell" in front of the class and who left their mark...on the floor, right in front of the whole class. That's how scared they were!

Elementary School. Presentations in front of the class. This was the period when we had crushes, and the subject of our admiration was snickering at our ineptness!

High School. How did the teacher always know the kid who had not prepared his or her homework? Another humiliation in front of our peers!

Is it any wonder that we grow up with this negative attitude about getting up in front of a group to make a presentation? Of course not! It is the result of negative conditioning. Since one of the greatest human motivations is the avoidance of pain, we have learned that speaking in front of a group is to be avoided at all costs, because it creates nothing but pain and embarrassment.

But there is hope, negative attitudes can be unlearned. We can learn effective ways to control this fear and to use our voice, body language and emotion to make successful presentations and deliver workshops that create results. Here are a few tips:

Read the complete article that provides various solutions to overcome this FEAR of speaking in front of a group, in our semi-monthly ezine. mailto:speakertip@smartbotpro.net Visit the Speaker's Coach Website at: http://www.intranet.ca/~jwaisvisz

Jacques Waisvisz The Ten Ps of Powerful Presentations Presentation Skills Seminars and Workshops The Speaker's Coach Ottawa, Ontario, K2B 8C5, Tel: 1 (613) 829-5980 http://www.intranet.ca/~jwaisvisz/ mailto:jwaisvisz@intranet.ca

Turning Your Fear Into Courage To Make First Impressions Count

The top business people all say the same thing - first impressions count. Sounds easy, and it is easy for those few who can start a conversation with just about anyone but how many people do you know who are like that?

On the other hand when you're shy it's easy to avoid other people, shyness automatically comes with a PhD in how to creatively avoid people, especially strangers! However this tendency can prove detrimental to your business especially when you consider that your ultimate success can depend on approaching people and making a great first impression.

There is a better way; it is possible to use your mind in a simple yet powerful way that will make it easy for you to make a fantastic first impression. It involves applying peak performance principles in a special way.

Here's what I do when I´m at a conference and I spot someone I know that I ought to say Hello to although my initial tendency is to just avoid them and hope that they don't see me.

First of all, feel yourself standing tall, just pretend that you feel dynamic, powerful and enthusiastic and take on that posture. Breathe deeply, chest out, and smile so wide that you can feel the stretch in your cheeks. Even if you make believe you will still tend to come across far better with whoever you approach.

Then, as you approach him or her, hear yourself saying HI or HELLO inside your head. The key is to make the sound very, very loud inside your head, really exaggerate it to impress your mind with your intention.

Finally, visualize that person smiling as they recognize you and make sure to go overboard with the imagined picture in your mind as well. Make the picture twice as big as life size, make it 3D, in rich color and very bright and up close in your mind's eye.

All this takes just a few seconds when you get good at it, at first you may find it tricky, practice it with people you see about town and you'll soon find yourself greeting more people.

I also use this technique when I'm waiting in line at the bank, in a store etc. That way you get an opportunity to be friendlier with whoever is serving you and with the other people waiting in line.

In a short time you will find it easier and easier to start conversations with people you would not have dared to approach in the past. Do this day after day and the cumulative effect on your business will be staggering.

Keys to success:

1 Practice this skill daily until it becomes second nature to you.

2 Teach your staff how to approach people as well, by teaching this skill you will become even better yourself.

3 Remind yourself of the negative implications of not making a great first impression and the long-term effect on your business.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert and published author. Subscribe FREE to his upbeat newsletter and get a FREE e-book, Abolish Shyness - Steps to Success, which reveals secret strategies for supercharging your communication skills. To join send an email to: AbolishShynessToday-subscribe@topica.com

What Motivates You?

What motivates us to do the things that we do? Why do we think and behave as we do? What influences people to do what they do?

Is it all because of that one word MONEY, which drives us to do what we do? I think not.

The word "motivation" means different things to different people. One thing for sure is that you can't buy a jar of it: it has to come from within yourself. A person's brain needs constant motivational input just as muscles need exercise, engines need petrol and plants need water.

I used to think that motivation was a slick American fad and that it wasn't for me. After all, I was very motivated already!

People are the product of their thoughts and the aim of motivational material is to improve the quality of your thoughts. Motivation is nothing more than encouragement and we all perform better for it. Friends of mine say that I am a good motivator, because I simply encourage others.

"We become what we think about all day long." - Emerson

"Most people think only what everybody else is doing." - Earl Nightingale

The road to achievement starts with a goal. Implant that goal in your mind and think about it all day long. I am doing that with this manuscript and my goal is to have it published and be an author. I think I have taken the right action steps so far, so that I eventually reach my target. Pay the price by making sacrifices. Take small steps towards your goal every day, instead of occasional bursts of activity.

The principal difference between the average person and the one who is highly successful seems to be in the degree of his or her personal motivation. Motivation is the hidden power in the successful person's arsenal and is the key ingredient for success. Most people, I believe are motivated or have the potential if they are aroused and interested in the activity.

However, one thing is for sure: It is not something someone else can give you. It must be self-generated from within; it is not external "RA RA" hype. In other words, motivation is an inner energy, rather than a fire lit by others.

Strong motivation also stems from a deep rooted belief in what you are trying to do; it is strongest when it comes from your inner values. This creates a feeling of ENTHUSIASM which is essential in order to remain motivated. Look at the zeal of a missionary or a Jehovah's Witness. The best salesmen are those who get very excited about and have total faith in their products. They sell with a firm conviction that their product is the best available.

WHAT ARE THE MAIN SOURCES OF MOTIVATION?

What influences people to do as they do? There are many diverse influences. It is difficult to pin-point which one is most important,but some factors are as follows: different cultures, socialenvironment and biological influences (e.g.. hunger, thirst) in work and in play. Other influences are our thoughts, our perceptions. Everyone is different and unique, so there are great individual differences in our drives.

There are two main sources of motivation: What will happen if you do? What will happen if you don't? For example, your doctor advises you to give up smoking. If you do, you will feel better and live longer; if you don't your health is going to deteriorate. Both sources (and implications) are equally powerful.

There is a strong correlation between motivation and achievement. Highly motivated people are nearly always achievers. Thrillseekers like sky-divers and stuntmen often need to do life threatening activities to keep them motivated. Danger gives them pleasure and keeps them motivated.

Why do we work? Is it just for money or is money merely a short-term issue? I am personally not motivated by money. I prefer interesting and exciting work that offers a challenge and the opportunity for personal growth. Others may feel the need for affiliation or to contribute to society. In the following chapter there is an exercise on this.

Understanding motivation gives us the power to accept our behaviour when we have strange reactions. It can also enable us to change what we think and do if we want to improve our behaviour or performance. So when going for a job it is critical to understand your motivations. What do you really want and expect from it?

What do others expect of you? Our behaviour is directly affected by our needs. If you are clear about the answers you will be happiest.

THEORIES OF MOTIVATION:

There are three main theories of motivation: 1. Desire for achievement 2. Desire for power 3. Desire for affiliation or sense of belonging.

These theories are linked to the concept of extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside, for example, the prospect of fame, recognition, monetary rewards, gaining power, respect or social approval/belonging (=sense of affiliation). With intrinsic rewards, the task or situation is in itself motivating or compelling. Motivation is often defined in terms of our goals. Marie says that contributing to society by daring to be different is what motivates me - strange! I think that I get bored easily without a challenge. Enough about "little old me"!

There are six main steps or elements in the process of motivation.

1. Desire: First, to be motivated you must have an intense burning desire to get where or what you want.

2. Decision: You must make a conscious decision on what to aim for.

3. Determination: to climb mountains so that absolutely nothing will stop you. You need to be able to repeat the habits which are necessary to get there.

4. Discipline: It is critical to pay the price whether you like it or not. Motivation is strongest when it is the internalisation of your goals and dreams, in other words, when you are headed on a clear path in your life's direction.

5. Focus

6. Direction

Certain people have the constant challenge to reach and sustain an optimum level of motivation which overcomes problems and bringsresults. If there is no challenge in what you are doing, motivation will soon wither and die.

Always remember: The buck starts - and stops - with you.

Self knowledge is the key to self-motivation: - why do we behave as we do? - what makes us tick?

Also critical for motivation is the image or snapshot you have of yourself. This is based on your inner belief in yourself as well as your attitude and views of your strengths and weaknesses. If you believe in yourself and expect success, you will act confidently and be highly motivated.

Key Points of this lesson:

* We must define success for ourselves.

* Be aware of our own strengths and weaknesses.

* Your personal solutions lie within you.

* To sustain motivation, do better than in the past.

* Motivation often comes from a challenge.

* It is necessary at times to make a positive out of a negative.

* The most important thing for an achievement-orientated person is to have a clear goal.

What comes first? The chicken or the egg? Motivation or action? The answer surprisingly is Action. First, we have to prime the pump and the way is through action. People who tend to procrastinate confuse motivation and action.

SO WHY NOT GET STARTED ON THAT NEXT ARTICLE OR EVEN BOOK? WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?

Craig Lock has written extensively on the subject of time management, as well as in the field of self help. This extract is from his first published book HANDBOOK TO SURVIVE. http://www.novelty-gift.com/ or e-mail: clock@xtra.co.nz